How to Ask Someone to Be a Reference Over the Phone (Script)
A warm, respectful script for calling a former manager, colleague, or teacher to ask them to be a job reference, and how to prepare them for the reference call.
Asking for a reference can feel like asking for a favor you haven't earned. But most people who worked closely with you and saw your work are happy to help, and being asked is often flattering. The key is to make it easy to say yes, and easy to say no.
A phone call is more personal than an email, especially if it's been a while since you spoke. If you're nervous about catching them off guard, send a short message first asking if they have a few minutes to talk.
The best reference requests include context: what role you're applying for, what you'd love them to highlight, and when they might be contacted.
What to have ready before you call
- The role(s) you're applying for
- Two or three things you'd like them to speak to
- Your updated resume to send afterward
- Roughly when they might be contacted
- A reminder of the project or time you worked together
Fill-in blanks look like [this]. Use the script builder to fill them in once and get a clean, personalized copy.
The script, step by step
Your opening line
Catch up briefly
How have you been? [Short catch-up.]Keep it genuine and short.
Explain the context
I'm applying for [role] roles, and I'm getting close to the reference stage.Gives them the why.
Ask with an easy out
Would you feel comfortable being a reference for me? Totally fine if the timing isn't right.The easy out makes yes more sincere.
Suggest highlights
If you're open to it, it'd be great if you could speak to [skill or project].Helps them help you.
Confirm details
What's the best phone number and email for a recruiter to reach you?Get their preferred contact info.
Thank them
Thank you so much. I'll send my resume and a quick summary, and give you a heads-up before anyone calls.Follow through on that promise.
If they push back: calm answers
These are things the other person might say. Read them now so nothing catches you off guard. You can rehearse them in practice mode.
Respect the no; a hesitant reference isn't ideal anyway.
Have this ready.
Reduce their effort.
If you get voicemail
Say your number slowly, and repeat it at the end. More in our voicemail guide.
After the call
- Send your resume and the job description(s) by email.
- Tell them when a reference call is likely.
- Thank them afterward and share the outcome.
Log names, times, and reference numbers as you go with the free Call Notepad and hold timer.
Frequently asked questions
Should I ask by phone or email?
Either works. A phone call feels more personal; a short message first can make the call less of a surprise.
Who makes a good reference?
Someone who directly saw your work, such as a former manager, supervisor, or close colleague.
How do I prepare my reference?
Send the job description, your resume, and a few points you'd like them to mention.
Should I thank them after?
Yes. A thank-you and an update on the outcome are good etiquette.
Related call scripts
This script is general guidance written to be calm and practical. It is not legal, financial, or medical advice, and policies differ between companies and places. Read the disclaimer.